Jesus has Answered my Prayer

On this Single Awareness Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about my crush on a handsome bumbler who is not very actively reciprocating my crush. Boo Valentine’s Day! I keep hoping, and wishing, and thinking, and praying… that he’ll be as interested in me as I am in him. But I think he’s got his own issues to work on. Fine. I get it. Been there, done that. I’ll mosey along. 

At lease Jesus was able to answer my prayer this evening. 

Credit Score

Why? Just, why? Why would you show me a screenshot of your credit score? Just tell me you have your shit together in your profile blurb. This just makes you look like a tool. (Plus, mine is better 😉 See, you look like a tool).

I’m Not That Modern

I apparently missed the memo about open marriages. I mean, I’m a modern lady but I’m not that modern. 

Damn, Dudes are Sneaky

So I almost swiped right. And guys know we (yes, I am lumping all us women together #sorrynotsorry) are suckers for a cute baby animal but especially a puppy.

It’s tricky and sneaky. But damn, I bet it’s effective too. It’s his first photo. He knows I don’t have to look further or read the profile because clearly, he’s swipe-right worthy (or for my Seinfeld fans, sponge-worthy) simply because of that puppy 🐶 I mean, let’s be real — the pup is effing adorable.

But you know what, you could be Prince Harry holding that puppy and I will refuse to swipe right! I refuse to be manipulated like that! You could be Channing Tatum, Chris Pratt, Ryan Reynolds… and I will stand strong and say “No!”

(Luckily, I’m a commoner and none of these men are single so we never have to actually test my will-power…)

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