Damn, Dudes are Sneaky

So I almost swiped right. And guys know we (yes, I am lumping all us women together #sorrynotsorry) are suckers for a cute baby animal but especially a puppy.

It’s tricky and sneaky. But damn, I bet it’s effective too. It’s his first photo. He knows I don’t have to look further or read the profile because clearly, he’s swipe-right worthy (or for my Seinfeld fans, sponge-worthy) simply because of that puppy 🐶 I mean, let’s be real — the pup is effing adorable.

But you know what, you could be Prince Harry holding that puppy and I will refuse to swipe right! I refuse to be manipulated like that! You could be Channing Tatum, Chris Pratt, Ryan Reynolds… and I will stand strong and say “No!”

(Luckily, I’m a commoner and none of these men are single so we never have to actually test my will-power…)

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Fair Question

To be honest, this is a fair question (I think). But it shouldn’t be the first question you ask and there is likely a more tactful way to word it once the time comes you might want to ask. 

The Wonderful World of Online Dating — Innaugural Post

I’m a newly single woman. I’m an introvert. I work. A lot. Not the best combination for meeting new people. 

As each day passes, I realize how much harder it can be to meet someone, especially now that I’m not in school. 

For a long time I’ve thought “I’m not so desperate that I would EVER do online dating.” But I have several good friends who’ve met their spouse or longtime partner on a dating website. I began to think — maybe a program that systematically matches you up with others based on your likes and dislikes is a good idea… Less chance and “fate” required. Why limit myself and the dating pool? There might be someone in my small town I’ve never met and might never meet without he help of a dating app or website! 

So… I signed up. For several. Now, I figured there’d be your typical asshats but it’s actually far more amusing than I anticipated. And disgusting. And desperate. 

So I’d like to share with you the interesting people I’ve “met” so I’m not the only one laughing (or cringing).

Proper Etiquette: Part II

When using a toilet in a person’s home (or a better practice would be at all times) you should put the toilet seat down. Toilets are yucky filthy places and when you deposit your inner workings into the bowl, it’s even less clean. Toilets spew a fine mist and if the toilet seat isn’t down, that filthy deposit is going to be spewed all over my a person’s bathroom.

A More Serious Note

This is going to be a very drastic change in tone from my previous posts. But no one follows me or knows who I am so I am going to take advantage of the anonymity. So here’s the very abridged version.

About three months ago my husband told me he no longer is in love with me. About two weeks ago, on our wedding anniversary, I told him that I want to work things out but he is free to leave. I’ve been in a no communication, limbo state for the past three months and I’m starting to go insane. I need to know whether or not to move forward. I would rather work things out. I would rather spend my life with the many I purposely chose to be the father of my future children. 

It’s just not as easy as you might think to say “Well why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you? Move on!” You would think it would be that easy. I would have thought it would be that easy. 

Prayers and patience are my mantra right now. 

Show off…

But seriously, what is the point of riding a bicycle with no hands? It’s really silly.

And I’m not hating because I can’t do it.

First World Problems: Part I

I actually don’t mind being behind on the latest season of my tv show. Between Netflix and Hulu Plus I can watch episodes back-to-back without waiting for the next week’s episode or the next season premier. But it sucks when I’m all caught up and have reached the end of the series and the next season is months away. The Bones season finale has left me in suspense!

True first world problems.

That Awkward Moment: Part I

That awkward moment when you encounter an odor that at first you think smells delicious and makes your tummy grumble. Then you begin to question whether or not what you smell is actually tasty food wafting in the air or rank B.O. lingering in the halls… And your just not sure if you want to vomit or go grab some Chinese food (although I’m not sure the two are mutually exclusive).

Not So Fresh or So Clean but Thanks Outkast

I understand the biological mechanics behind why I poop after a shower but it doesn’t mean I have to like the fact that I just cleaned that shit up… Pun totally intended.

Squirty poops are especially the worst.

Instant Email

When did replying to an email the very day you received it become commonplace?

Can we go back to the days when people could wait a day or two or three or more for a response and it wasn’t a big deal?

*sigh*

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